About a week or so ago I blogged that my wife might have won free lasik from Custom Laser Center in Los Angeles.
Well, she didn't. It's a marketing scam. Here's how it went down.
About a month ago, I entered her in the contest. You can see the entry form here, on their website, although we entered through a local radio station.
(Notice there are no "rules" posted for this contest, nor any mention that there exists any possibility other than "Win Free Lasik").
At the end of the month we get a phone call saying she was "this month's winner" in the "Win Free Lasik" contest. She'd be sent a $2,000 gift certificate. There was no mention of "2nd place," no mention that she had not actually won free lasik. If you inferred that, simply because you were told were a winner in the "Win Free Lasik" contest, oh well. As they would tell me later, they never actually said she had won free Lasik. She was told, as is correct, she had won a $2,000 gift certificate, so why would you think the Lasik would be free?
Well, partly because when we asked what the normal price range for surgeries was, we were told it was between $800 and $5,000. Again, this leaves the impression that there are surgeries that would be covered by a $2,000 gift certificate, since even if $800 was only for one eye, $1,600 would still be covered. After all, this doctor does surgeries for people with presbyopia and all kinds of other problems my wife doesn't have, so there's got to be some prices at the upper end that are beyond our needs.
Now, as you saw in my post about the win, I was suspicious. But, because of the price range quoted to me, I still thought there was at least a possibility.
As it turned out, the price range quoted was also technically accurate, but still deceptive.
Once we got down there, and after watching the video about Wally Joyner, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson, radio DJs, and local news anchors all getting surgery at this place, we were ushered into the back room where the girl sat at the desk with the computer and the paperwork.
She launched into the spiel, and when she came to the "How did you hear about us?" question and my wife said she'd won the contest, the lady proceeded to tell us how the contest worked. What we had actually won--the $2,000 gift certificate--was second place. It was the same thing they gave celebrities. It would not cover the cost of any procedure. In fact, it would not cover half the cost of any procedure, unless we wanted to drive down to San Diego and use their "old laser." Then it would be $1,700.
What about the $800-$5,000 price range quoted on the phone? Absolutely accurate. That includes all prices they charge anybody with or without the gift certificate. One eye, with the certificate, on the old laser, would be $800. Two eyes, without the certificate, on the good machine, would be $5,000. The full price range.
Never mind that it would have made more sense to quote us the price range either with or without the gift certificate, and then tell us which we were being told. Never mind that isn't what we had asked the guy (We'd specifically asked for the "normal" price range). Instead, quote the "full" price range just to get them down here and hope that after they watch the video they'll agree to "finance" the whole thing for $40-$50 dollars a month.
For the next nine years.
The price they charge you seems to have nothing to do with your problem. It's all about which machine you want them to use. Even though their website says, "We understand that there are no one-size-fits-all solutions in Ophthalmology," they seem to have found a one-price-fits-all solution where they charge a certain amount no matter what your problem is. So my assumptions that pricing would be based on severity of problem were dead wrong.
I don't know why I'm so furious with these guys. Even in my last blog post, it's clear I knew this was going to happen. I guess it's just the fact that I drove down there thinking I would see a full spectrum of prices, ranging from well below the amount of my gift certificate to well above--
The guy's exact words on the phone after he quoted the price range were "Why don't you come down and see how much it will cover?" Again, leaving the impression there was a chance it might cover "all" of it, or that it might cover "some" of it.
Instead, he knew exactly how much it would cover. It would cover $2,000. Since no surgery is less than that, there is never any situation where the gift certificate covers any other amount.
Any business relationship is about trust. A customer has to feel he can trust the place he's doing business with. I have to trust the mechanic is telling me the truth about what's under my hood. I have to trust the checker at the grocery store isn't going to steal my credit card number. I have to trust my bank will be able to give me my money tomorrow.
In this case, I'm sure that Dr. Gene W. Zdenek is probably a fantastic surgeon. I'll bet my wife's eyes would be as safe in his hands as in any of the top doctors in the world. I certainly do not think he's a quack, and I do not think anybody who works in his office is anything but sweet and nice. They really were fantastic to us--especially to my kids--while we waited.
But if I feel I was lured into the office under false pretenses, do I even want them going at my wife's eyes?
I don't know. Maybe that's just sour grapes.
I've wanted to get my wife free laser surgery for a while now.
In fact, Lasik surgery is one of the reasons I'm even doing this turnaround. Last Christmas I was thinking how wonderful it would be to get my wife Lasik surgery for Christmas this year. If I could save enough each month, I could have it for her at the end of the year.
Only when I looked at my finances, there wasn't the money to save for it each month. There wasn't enough money to pay the bills I already had each month. I had to do something, and I had to do it now. If I could get all my debt paid off in 2005, then I could get Lasik on the radar for 2006.
So when I took the message from the Custom Laser Center for my wife that she'd won, I guess deep down a part of me was hoping that somehow the universe was finally cutting me a break. Things were finally lining up in my favor.
Well, don't believe it, kids. Nobody's going to hand you anything on a silver platter. There's only one person who absolutely, completely and totally has your best interests in mind, and that's you.
Don't wait for the lottery or the casinos or your rich dying relative or the government to pop up and bail you out or give you what you need. If you know what you want, don't wait around for somebody else to give it to. Just knuckle down, put your shoulder to the wheel, and make it happen.
TANSTAAFL.
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Friday, May 13, 2005
Friday Mythbustin': Interest Only Loans
Myth: Interest only loans are a great way to stretch your dollar each month. You get to build up equity without a huge house payment.
Fact: Interest only loans are a great way to take away all the benefits of having a mortgage while still keeping all the bad parts. And the length of the loan becomes a ticking time bomb of looming disaster.
I don't have to tell you all the supposed benefits of an interest only loan. The banks and mortgage lenders are doing their darndest to make sure you understand why interest only loans are the greatest thing since cavemen first started seeking shelter in caves.
But again--use your head. If your banker is really, really pushing it on you in advertisements, in print ads, and in face-to-face visits, who do you think it really benefits?
I had a friend who knew a guy who owned a used car lot. One of those lots you see in the not-so-nice parts of town that catered to people with bad credit. Here's the way his operation worked:
He'd get a car cheap. Either at an auto auction or through some other means. Say he'd pay $750. Then he'd put a $3000 sticker on it. When Joe Public came in to buy it, he'd tell the guy he could finance the $3000, but he'd ask for $750 down. He'd have made back all his costs the moment the guy made the down payment--the rest would be pure profit. Pure profit with over 20% interest. If the guy faulted on payments, he'd go repo the car and sell it to somebody else. This time, even the down would be profit.
Interest only mortgages are a way for the bank to do the same thing. They buy your house up front, and the house remains an asset--their asset, not yours--through the whole process. They get to collect money from you every month, just like you were renting, except that unlike renting, you pay the property taxes and you have to fix anything that goes wrong. Since the payment is interest only, you lose the only benefit of a regular mortgage--in a regular mortgage, some of your monthly payment is working towards making the house yours, free and clear.
Now the kool-aid drinkers of interest only out there are still asking "What about the increasing property values? Won't I get the increased value of my home as equity to help me buy my next home?"
In theory, yes. But the problem is that when you get the loan, you start a timer ticking. A time when your payment is going to "balloon" from something you can afford to something you can't afford. And when you're under time pressure, you become the target of bargain-hunters: a "Must-Seller."
Real Estate gurus like Robert Allen go on and on about how wonderful "Must-Sellers" are to people looking for bargains. These are people who have a house they need to sell and need to sell now. This could be because of a recent divorce, because of a pending foreclosure, because of a recent job loss, or--you guessed it--because of a pending balloon payment. When you're selling under time pressure, you're usually forced to settle at a lesser price than you would have if you'd have had more time.
And, chances are that if they got you to drink the interest-only Kool-aid, they'll get you to drink the second-mortgage-for-any-equity Kool-aid, and you'll squander that away, too.
The banks, knowing people have caught on to the five-year deadline, and fear it, have agreed to do fifteen year interest only loans, but "only if you have really, really good credit." It's hard to get anybody to muster up much fear of a looming deadline fifteen years away. What a bargain!
Except that $1000 dollars or whatever you think you were saving each month will end up costing you the full value of your home. If you'd have done what every financial person who doesn't sell loans recommends and got a 15 year regular mortgage, come 15 years and one day, you would own your home free and clear. No more payments. Now you're free to use that entire payment each month to do whatever you want. Save, take trips, whatever. In the meantime, your kool-aid drinking buddy is having to start all over, either by moving or by refinancing.
Remember--your goal isn't just to get a house. It's to get a house paid off.
Fact: Interest only loans are a great way to take away all the benefits of having a mortgage while still keeping all the bad parts. And the length of the loan becomes a ticking time bomb of looming disaster.
I don't have to tell you all the supposed benefits of an interest only loan. The banks and mortgage lenders are doing their darndest to make sure you understand why interest only loans are the greatest thing since cavemen first started seeking shelter in caves.
But again--use your head. If your banker is really, really pushing it on you in advertisements, in print ads, and in face-to-face visits, who do you think it really benefits?
I had a friend who knew a guy who owned a used car lot. One of those lots you see in the not-so-nice parts of town that catered to people with bad credit. Here's the way his operation worked:
He'd get a car cheap. Either at an auto auction or through some other means. Say he'd pay $750. Then he'd put a $3000 sticker on it. When Joe Public came in to buy it, he'd tell the guy he could finance the $3000, but he'd ask for $750 down. He'd have made back all his costs the moment the guy made the down payment--the rest would be pure profit. Pure profit with over 20% interest. If the guy faulted on payments, he'd go repo the car and sell it to somebody else. This time, even the down would be profit.
Interest only mortgages are a way for the bank to do the same thing. They buy your house up front, and the house remains an asset--their asset, not yours--through the whole process. They get to collect money from you every month, just like you were renting, except that unlike renting, you pay the property taxes and you have to fix anything that goes wrong. Since the payment is interest only, you lose the only benefit of a regular mortgage--in a regular mortgage, some of your monthly payment is working towards making the house yours, free and clear.
Now the kool-aid drinkers of interest only out there are still asking "What about the increasing property values? Won't I get the increased value of my home as equity to help me buy my next home?"
In theory, yes. But the problem is that when you get the loan, you start a timer ticking. A time when your payment is going to "balloon" from something you can afford to something you can't afford. And when you're under time pressure, you become the target of bargain-hunters: a "Must-Seller."
Real Estate gurus like Robert Allen go on and on about how wonderful "Must-Sellers" are to people looking for bargains. These are people who have a house they need to sell and need to sell now. This could be because of a recent divorce, because of a pending foreclosure, because of a recent job loss, or--you guessed it--because of a pending balloon payment. When you're selling under time pressure, you're usually forced to settle at a lesser price than you would have if you'd have had more time.
And, chances are that if they got you to drink the interest-only Kool-aid, they'll get you to drink the second-mortgage-for-any-equity Kool-aid, and you'll squander that away, too.
The banks, knowing people have caught on to the five-year deadline, and fear it, have agreed to do fifteen year interest only loans, but "only if you have really, really good credit." It's hard to get anybody to muster up much fear of a looming deadline fifteen years away. What a bargain!
Except that $1000 dollars or whatever you think you were saving each month will end up costing you the full value of your home. If you'd have done what every financial person who doesn't sell loans recommends and got a 15 year regular mortgage, come 15 years and one day, you would own your home free and clear. No more payments. Now you're free to use that entire payment each month to do whatever you want. Save, take trips, whatever. In the meantime, your kool-aid drinking buddy is having to start all over, either by moving or by refinancing.
Remember--your goal isn't just to get a house. It's to get a house paid off.
Thursday, May 12, 2005
Sleep
Well, my newest issue is probably sleep. As in, figuring how to get everything I need to get done, done, while still getting any sleep.
I've been getting about five hours of sleep a night, and it's just not enough. Yesterday in particular, my body started going into rebellion once the sun went down.
I guess it's like anything else--I just have to experiment until I find an amount of sleep that's right for me.
Getting enough sleep is more important to weight loss than you may think. Not only for the obvious reason (no sleep = no energy = no movement = no calories burned), but your body will actually slow down your metabolism if you didn't get enough sleep the night before. I don't know--maybe it's letting your body catch some zzz's a cell or two at a time. Either way, that means even fewer calories burned. People who don't get enough sleep tend to be heavier than people who do. It's counterintuitive--you'd think the people who were up doing stuff would burn more calories--but it's how the body works.
The question becomes how to get all the other stuff done while still sleeping.
I've been getting about five hours of sleep a night, and it's just not enough. Yesterday in particular, my body started going into rebellion once the sun went down.
I guess it's like anything else--I just have to experiment until I find an amount of sleep that's right for me.
Getting enough sleep is more important to weight loss than you may think. Not only for the obvious reason (no sleep = no energy = no movement = no calories burned), but your body will actually slow down your metabolism if you didn't get enough sleep the night before. I don't know--maybe it's letting your body catch some zzz's a cell or two at a time. Either way, that means even fewer calories burned. People who don't get enough sleep tend to be heavier than people who do. It's counterintuitive--you'd think the people who were up doing stuff would burn more calories--but it's how the body works.
The question becomes how to get all the other stuff done while still sleeping.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Before the Before Pic
This was taken late September of last year. The before pic in the other post of me in the suit was taken in December. The after pic of me with Doctor Doom was taken a month ago.
So as you can see, I had a running start on this turnaround. I must have been at least 270 in this picture, maybe 275. This was before official government weigh-ins so I can't be sure.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Tale Of The Tape
I'm down another pound. Since today is almost exactly two months before my birthday, that leaves me almost exactly two months to lose 15 pounds to hit my goal of 220 by my birthday.
So far, in four months, I've lost 27 pounds. That's about 6.75 pounds a month. I'd have to step it up just a hair to 7.5 pounds a month to hit my goal.
Then, I'm giving myself the whole last half of the year to get to 200, that's going to be 3.33 pounds a month--less than a pound a month. Since I know those last few pounds are always the hardest, I'm purposely giving myself that extended time frame. I'm interested to see how much harder it gets. I know it's going to be frustrating to see my progress fall off by half, but I'm mentally bracing for it, so maybe that'll take some of the edge off.
So far, in four months, I've lost 27 pounds. That's about 6.75 pounds a month. I'd have to step it up just a hair to 7.5 pounds a month to hit my goal.
Then, I'm giving myself the whole last half of the year to get to 200, that's going to be 3.33 pounds a month--less than a pound a month. Since I know those last few pounds are always the hardest, I'm purposely giving myself that extended time frame. I'm interested to see how much harder it gets. I know it's going to be frustrating to see my progress fall off by half, but I'm mentally bracing for it, so maybe that'll take some of the edge off.
Who Moved My Cheese?
On a related note, I got off the road today and drove up around the other side of the sign so I could see behind the tree.
It was an ad for an auto detailer.
If your answer to that question was "Detail my car!" then we need to talk.
Monday, May 09, 2005
The Billboard
There's a billboard up in Rubidoux with the following quote:
I have no idea what this billboard is advertising. If there's a logo or something on the billboard, I can't see it. There are some trees blocking the lower right hand corner--maybe that's where the logo is.
I googled the quote, and it's usually attributed to Robert Schuller, although occasionally they credit it to Tony Robbins.
But since it's been bugging me, it's caused me to really ponder the quote. It coincides with the things in this week's Artists Way stuff--recovering a sense of power.
In that book, she argues that some unbelievers use their unbelief as a crutch. Yes, my life stinks, they say, and nothing I want ever happens, but that's because the universe is cold and merciless and cruel. Belief--be it in a god, or in positive energy, or in moral absolutes--belief in anything would force them into a situation where they would have to accept responsibility for their own actions and for their own circumstances. Anything you believe in opens up possibility, and possibility is dangerously, intimidatingly freeing.
For one of the exercises in that book, you were supposed to list who, if you found yourself in the afterlife, you would want to meet. Then, you were to list who you would want to hang out with. Comparing the lists was supposed to be insightful.
I began to imagine in. Me, there in the afterlife. Everybody who ever lived was there, somewhere. After tracking down a couple of people I knew personally, I imagined my treks to go find the people I just had to talk to.
I hope I can explain the insight I got in a way that makes it clear what an epiphany it was for me.
As I was pondering my journeys in this place, marveling at my ability to move freely among all of humanity that ever had been, it occurred to me that I currently live in the same world as all of humanity that now is. Every place that now exists is there to be seen. I'm as free to move about this world as I was to move about the one I fantasized about.
I don't think I've ever fully comprehended that before. The reality that anything is possible. When I was a child, I didn't possess the financial or logistical means of doing such things. When I got older, work and other responsibilities always made me feel anchored down in a similar way.
But ultimately, if I can obtain the means to make it happen, anywhere in the world is open to me. Every person in the world exists to be met and learned from. Every opportunity afforded anyone, anywhere, is mine to have.
That's a terrifying proposition. Suddenly, I am no longer bound by circumstance. I'm no longer "just" my job or my title or my current station. I'm a creature of incredible potential, who is either moving towards it, moving away from it, or, worst of all, spinning his wheels, allowing himself to be borne down by the weight of a thousand yesterdays recycling themselves endlessly into today.
Please, please--not any more.
What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
I have no idea what this billboard is advertising. If there's a logo or something on the billboard, I can't see it. There are some trees blocking the lower right hand corner--maybe that's where the logo is.
I googled the quote, and it's usually attributed to Robert Schuller, although occasionally they credit it to Tony Robbins.
But since it's been bugging me, it's caused me to really ponder the quote. It coincides with the things in this week's Artists Way stuff--recovering a sense of power.
In that book, she argues that some unbelievers use their unbelief as a crutch. Yes, my life stinks, they say, and nothing I want ever happens, but that's because the universe is cold and merciless and cruel. Belief--be it in a god, or in positive energy, or in moral absolutes--belief in anything would force them into a situation where they would have to accept responsibility for their own actions and for their own circumstances. Anything you believe in opens up possibility, and possibility is dangerously, intimidatingly freeing.
For one of the exercises in that book, you were supposed to list who, if you found yourself in the afterlife, you would want to meet. Then, you were to list who you would want to hang out with. Comparing the lists was supposed to be insightful.
I began to imagine in. Me, there in the afterlife. Everybody who ever lived was there, somewhere. After tracking down a couple of people I knew personally, I imagined my treks to go find the people I just had to talk to.
I hope I can explain the insight I got in a way that makes it clear what an epiphany it was for me.
As I was pondering my journeys in this place, marveling at my ability to move freely among all of humanity that ever had been, it occurred to me that I currently live in the same world as all of humanity that now is. Every place that now exists is there to be seen. I'm as free to move about this world as I was to move about the one I fantasized about.
I don't think I've ever fully comprehended that before. The reality that anything is possible. When I was a child, I didn't possess the financial or logistical means of doing such things. When I got older, work and other responsibilities always made me feel anchored down in a similar way.
But ultimately, if I can obtain the means to make it happen, anywhere in the world is open to me. Every person in the world exists to be met and learned from. Every opportunity afforded anyone, anywhere, is mine to have.
That's a terrifying proposition. Suddenly, I am no longer bound by circumstance. I'm no longer "just" my job or my title or my current station. I'm a creature of incredible potential, who is either moving towards it, moving away from it, or, worst of all, spinning his wheels, allowing himself to be borne down by the weight of a thousand yesterdays recycling themselves endlessly into today.
Please, please--not any more.
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