About Upromise

So for about the last year, my wife and I have been using Upromise. You've probably seen their little logo on things at the store at wondered what the deal was. Here you go.

See, Upromise works together with a bunch of products and restaurants and gas stations and other places, and every time you purchase one of those products or dine at one of those restaurants or fill up at one of those gas stations, a percentage of what you spent goes to a "savings" account for your child (or children) or a child (or children) you know.

The savings percentage varies depending on the product or service you buy, anywhere from 3-10%.

The ads say this is a way to "invest" in the child's future, but that's a little misleading. The nickels and dimes that various companies put into your account do not actually go straight into any type of "investment" account. The site does give you the option of setting up a 529 account through Vanguard, but the minimum contribution is $50 a month. At 3% savings per item, you would have to buy $1,666.67 worth of groceries to qualify. If you eat out a lot, and went to restaurants that gave you back 10%, you could get that $50 by spending $500 a month eating out.

Of course, you could just come up with the fifty bucks. Before you think, "Oh, that's too expensive," remember--it's not a fee. It's really an investment. It stays your money. It's fifty bucks a month you're setting aside to pay for your child's education. It's a special savings account that has certain tax advantages. Fifty bucks a month, invested for ten years at 11% interest would give you $11,000 when it came time to send Junior to school, even though you only paid $6,000 in.

Even if you don't have the fifty bucks a month to save yet, you may as well join one of these places. There is no cost and there's some free money.

How much?

Well, I've been doing it for around a year now. Prior to today, I have never once checked my balance. I have also never once made a purchase based on what would get me Upromise money and what wouldn't. In fact, I am partial to one brand of gasoline that does not work with Upromise.

So, how much was in that account when I checked it today, after all this time?

$4.22. Divided equally between my two daughters, that works out to $2.11 each.

About half of that was made in the last 120 days. Now that my wife has begun coupon shopping, we're buying more of the brand-name products that participate. However, since they pay you as a percentage of the price you paid, and we're using coupons and double coupons to not pay much at all . . . well, you see the number.

Although 75 cents of that came from one trip to Red Brick Pizza I took last year, dining alone, so if you eat out much it may be more worth it to you.

Either way, it's money to my name (or my kid's names) I wouldn't have had if I didn't join up. Joining didn't cost me anything, so why not?

As long as I don't make stupid purchases just because I think I'm getting something out of it in Upromise dollars, there's no possible pain, and a little gain.

Okay, very little.

Gambling: The Worst Odds On The Strip

Casino gambling works like this:

A whole bunch of people show up each day and give a bunch of money to the casino. The casino gives part of it back. Then, people give that to the casino, too. The casino gives part of that back.

People still keep giving more and more of that back to the casino, though. Know why? Because they think that once they won, they're playing with casino money. It becomes play money to them, and so they don't feel it so much when they give it back, a little at a time, to the casino.

The amount that the house gets to keep (this is called the P.C., or the "Percent to Casino") is often regulated by law. In Atlantic City, it's required that all slot machines have a maximum P.C. of 17%. This means that for every 100 dollars that gets put into the machine, it has to give back 83.

So which game has the highest P.C. of any game on the strip? Which game does the house keep the most money on? Poker? Blackjack? Slots?

Nope. It's Keno.

On Keno, the house keeps 25%. In other words, for every dollar that's played, the house keeps a quarter.

Keno works like this: You get a little paper with numbers on it from 1 to 80. You pick a bunch of numbers, the casino picks a bunch of numbers. If picking numbers is too much of a mathematical stretch for you, the casino will often pick your numbers for you, too. The casino pays you based on how high a percentage of your numbers match with their numbers.

Keno winnings are often called "Miracle Money," by gamblers, who know that's what it would take to get it in any great quantity.

Please note--I'm not saying you won't get any of it. You will. What you won't do is win big. If you play enough, the casino will graciously give you back about 3/4 of what you put into it, and they'll call it "winnings."

Keno is a game with no strategy, no luck, no skill involved.

Does it have any redeeming qualities? Sure. Because the game takes longer than most other casino games (figure about 10 minutes to get all the cards and pick the house numbers, versus having the cards tossed down right then) you lose your money more slowly.

However, in this busy, fast-paced world of ours, it may be more efficient to follow Harry Anderson's advice to would-be Keno players: "I'd suggest simply asking for the manager of the casino and handing over a quarter of the money in your wallet, sucker!"

Want further proof of the difficulty of winning big in Keno?

Iwon.com has a keno-like game they run daily called "Pick 7." They've been running this game daily for years. Everybody who goes to the site can pick seven numbers, click an ad, and have a shot at $70,000.

Guess how many times, in the last five years, they've had to pay out a winner? 10 times? Five?

Twice. Once April of last year, and once back in 2001. That's it.

If you're looking for something to do at a casino while you're eating lunch that involves numbers, try this instead:

1. Get a keno form for you and a friend. Or two sheets of notebook paper. Even a couple napkins will work fine.
2. Each of you pick a bunch of numbers.
3. Give each other a buck for each one you match.
4. Repeat as often as you wish.

You get the same effect without losing any money! I'm sure this game will be all the rage at lunch appointments all over the nation by the end of the week.

I mean, if people are willing to pay to play it, how much more exciting will it be to get to play for free!

Squirm Yourself Skinny

My Dad shot me a copy of this press release on an elaborate study done by the Mayo clinic. They had obese and non-obese people wear special underclothing with elaborate motion sensors (The kind they use in fighter jets? How fast did they think these folks would be moving?) and then monitored their "NEAT" rating.

"NEAT" stands for "non-exercise activity thermogenesis," or in other words, how many calories you burn doing stuff other than exercising.

Guess what they found? That the non-exercise movement was a bigger factor in keeping you thin than regular, regimented exercise. "Obese persons sit, on average, 150 minutes more each day than their naturally lean counterparts."

But could that be because they're heavier? The study checked that, too.

For the next phase of the study, the researchers overfed the lean people by 1,000 calories a day to make them gain weight, and underfed the obese people by 1,000 calories a day to replicate an intense diet. Researchers then monitored their movements every half second for 10 days and compared the results. Even after losing weight, the naturally obese group sat more and moved less. And even after gaining weight, the naturally lean group stood, walked and even fidgeted more than the other group.

The moral of the story? Don't sit still. If you are sitting still (like watching TV) do something else at the same time. Iron. Sort laundry. I used to practice card tricks--guess I'll get to again.

I knew a girl who would crochet bandages for a hospital every time she was sitting down anywhere--even at church. It didn't require much thought, so she could still pay attention to what was going on, but she was always doing something.

So fidget your way fit. Wiggle down your weight. Squirm yourself skinny. And when your Mom says, "Can't you sit still?" just say, "Nope. The Mayo clinic said it's good for me."

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Month

Well, today was bill paying day.

Bill paying day is officially my favorite day of the month now.

Paying off my bills isn't like weight loss. It isn't as disconnected. With weight loss, you eat less, and you exercise, and you hope in some vague, ambiguous way, it will show up on the scale.

When I pay bills, I pay, and I immediately see the numbers go down.

Today I finished paying off the first one--a Chase Visa with a $400 limit. Which, of course, frees up more money to go to the next bill, which is Dell Financial services.

Although the total payoff for Dell is a number remarkably close to the amount I'm getting back in my tax refund. So that bill may be paid off next month.

Which will leave me free to start paying off my car early.

It also means I'll be getting to the point where the fact that my bills were so high will work for me. Because the bills that are paid off will give me greater power to pay down on the ones that are still outstanding.

It doesn't mean life is easier in other areas. We're counting our blessings that February is a short month, so we can make the $100 we have left in our food budget last for the next twelve days.

It does mean we probably won't be ordering out for pizza any time soon.

And of course, it will be discouraging to get the bills in the mail next month and see the balances creeping back up as interest inches the "amount owed" a little higher each time (Did I mention that, of my $40 monthly "amount due" on my Dell account, a full thirty dollars was going towards interest? Do you know that I'll probably mention it again?).

But I'll get to knock that down with greater and greater vigor.

Now, I get to do it all again on the 16th of next month.

Start a budget, if you haven't already. Dave Ramsey says, "A budget is people telling their money where to go instead of wondering where it went." If you can't do a budget yet, at least track your finances. Keep a log of how much went where. How much are you really spending on eating out? How much are you really spending on those magazines you pick up at the check out counter?

I was shocked--shocked--to read an article a guy wrote where he advised people not to balance their checkbooks. "You have better things to do with your time," the article said. "You always have a pretty good idea what's in there."

Pretty good, nothing. I remember when I first got my check card. I worked at the bank, got a snazzy little card with my picture on it, and I had a "pretty good idea" what was in there right into repeated overdraft dips into my savings account.

Keep a checkbook. Yes, it's time consuming, but time is money, and if you don't have the money, than you have to be willing to give up the time.

Then track those purchases. See what money is going where. Even if you don't think you can do a budget now, tracking your finances will help you get an idea of what you would need to do to create one.

Because in reality, the more desperate your financial situation, the more desperately you need a budget.

As I Feared or Why I Only Weigh Myself Weekly

In an effort to prove to me that I cannot go a week without exercising and still lose weight, my body put two more pounds around me, pushing me back above that magical 250 pound mark. Yes, that's right--I'm back to 251.

I deserve it. This was not my finest week. Not for cardio, not for weightlifting, not for diet.

So, I will take this hapless occasion to explain one of the features of my blog: Why do I only weigh myself once a week? If I'm being scientific and precise and nerdy about all of this, shouldn't I weigh myself daily? Maybe even a couple of times a day? Track my moment-by-moment progress?

No. And neither should you.

If you're weighing yourself daily, stop it. Right now. Cut it out, I'm telling you. If, even worse, you're weighing yourself every time you walk into the bathroom, you may want to move the scale under the bathroom sink. Only bring it out for the weekly weigh-in.

Why in the world would this be true?

First, it doesn't pay to weigh yourself throughout the day. Your weight naturally fluctuates throughout the day. You eat, you drink, you go to the bathroom, and, if you're some people I know, you use several pounds of hair product. You wear varying amounts of clothing.

So you're going to weigh differently throughout the day, through no fault of your own and despite your not having lost or gained any body weight.

You probably will never weigh less than when you first wake up. That's probably the best time to weigh yourself.

If you absolutely, positively have to weigh yourself every day, just do it once, in the morning, after you go to the bathroom.

But I don't advise it. Why not?

Because if you're only looking to lose 1-4 pounds a week, you're not going to see a very large difference from day to day. Not seeing a very large difference can become discouraging. Even if you did really, really well, you're not going to see much movement, and you're going to think all that work was a waste of time.

On the other hand, you do want to weigh yourself at some point, so you can see how you're doing.

One week is a good compromise. It's long enough that you can see real progress, but short enough that if something isn't working you can fix it fairly early.

Some people say that if you're trying to maintain weight, you may want to weigh yourself more frequently--like two or three times a week--to watch for any uspwings.

But nearly everybody agrees, when you're trying to lose, weighing daily will discourage you.

Missin' The Measurements

Because of work stuff, I wasn't able to do my usual Monday weigh-in.

I have to admit, I'm scared of this one. I've lost weight every time so far. This time, if I gain anything, it's going to put me back at or above 250, a weight which I was delighted to get below.

It rained a lot, keeping me inside in my nice, warm bed during the cardio hour. My workout partner fell ill at the start of the week, preventing a couple of workouts. Plus, it doesn't help that his wife is going to have a baby any day now (possibly any hour now, based on my conversation with him a little bit ago).

Plus, last Friday, one of my offices flodded. I spent all day that day and part of the next bent over running a wet-dry vac and carrying heavy buckets of water around, which left me so sore I was nearly unable to move, let alone do my normal two Saturday workouts.

So I had one solid day of physical activity, and nearly nothing else.

As for eating, I tried really hard, but it was still probably my worst week yet.

But I've still got to get on that scale.

So tommorrow morning, I'm going to do more cardio. I'm going to work myself for that hour, and then I'm going to go weigh myself, and I'm going to accept whatever results I get, and I'm going to lose another three or four pounds next week, just like I've been doing.

Stay tuned.

Sunday Book Review: The Navy Seal Workout

I'll be honest with you--I only use this book for the ab routine.

Not to say the book isn't great. It's got three sections--one upper body workout, one ab workout, and a section on cardio.

It also divides each section into suggested workouts for the beginning, intermediate, and advanced training.

The upper body workout section is entirely "weightless." No dumbbells or barbells here, but lots of pull-ups and push-ups. Why didn't I ever use it? Well, I guess I just never got advanced enough to do pull-ups. Or a pull-up.

Let's change the subject.

The cardio routine also looks terrific, if you have access to a large flight of stairs and a pool (or the ocean). It sounds like a lot of fun, and I would like to do it eventually.

Which brings us back to the ab section. It's a series of nearly a dozen exercises meant to be done every other day. I didn't come anywhere near finishing even the "beginner" routine the first time I did this. I haven't even tried to start it again this time.

But it's still a good workout to aspire to. When I read a review over at Amazon that called this a good book for those just starting out, I had to laugh. I felt like it was only for people who'd been at it a while.