Shhh! Don't Tell Anyone You Read This!

My wife has taken up a new hobby--mystery shopping.

She's joined various groups around the internet--all free, in case anybody tries to convince you you need to pay to join their service--and when one of them lists a job she's interested in, she signs up.

In addition to the few bucks she makes off each job, she also often gets free food. She's done restaurants, pizza places, and apartment complexes, shipping centers--we haven't done movie theatres yet, but they are available.

It's a lot of writing meticulous reports and taking pictures and remembering names and guessing ages and all kinds of things Marci's better at than me. But it's given us some fun family outings that we didn't have to pay for, and who can beat that?

Quote of the Day

Man does not live by a turkey in every oven or a color TV set in every home. Man lives by faith and hope and love, by the star on the horizon, by the trumpet that will not call retreat.

E. Merrill Root

Lessons From New Orleans

I crossed paths with the "tropical storm" that was left of the hurricane as I flew back from Pennsylvania this week. Knowing that if it was severe enough, I might not have got home made me keep my eye on it.

Like most of America, I had no idea how bad it would prove to be.

The take-home lessons, from a financial perspective, are obvious:

1. Have an emergency fund. Some money set aside for crises. Maybe start with $1,000, but eventually try to get 3-6 months worth of salary saved.

2. Have 72 hour kits. Sacks or backpacks with enough food, water, and other necessities for 3 days for each member of your family. Lots of websites give good suggestions for what should go in here.

3. Fill your car with gas when it's half empty. Not only will this make each trip to the pump less painful, but it will insure you have gasoline when you need it.

4. Have some water storage. A big drum or two, if you can afford it, but at least some bottles. Maybe some water-cooler type bottles.

Is it too early in this disaster to be talking preparedness? I don't think so.

Usually we won't make changes unless we have emotional reasons to go along with the logical ones, and I think right now, while emotions are running high, is the best time for us to get a little more ready. We might do things that would seem extreme two months from now, but that we'll be grateful we did when the opportunity arises.

It's also a good time to help where you can.

Cheap Isn't The Same As Best

I love this quote:

The bitterness of poor quality lingers long after the sweetness of low price has passed.

Oh, it's true it's true. We're currently suffering through some trash bags that I am convinced must be made of the same material as crepe paper. However, I think this stuff would have to be layered before it would become crepe paper quality, because it is possible, if you're careful, not to rip crepe paper.

Whatever we saved was absolutely not worth it.

Add trash bags to the list of things worth spending a couple extra pennies on. You know--like toilet paper.

Everybody Stop, For Crying Out Loud!

You notice how home prices keep going up and up and up? Feeling frustrated? Wonder how you're ever going to be able to afford a home?

Well, here's a secret: The real problem is America's willingness to go into debt.

That's it! The whole problem, plain and simple. If Americans were not willing to go into debt, home prices would be lower.

It's simple supply and demand. When Americans are more and more willing to go into debt, it increases the amount they're willing to pay for homes. If they're willing to pay a price, simple economic principles push the cost of the product up to meet that price.

Now, why are Americans willing to assume all that debt?

Because they're not thinking in terms of debt. They're thinking in terms of Monthly Cash Flow. And mortgage lenders keep coming up with hot new ways to allow you to have HUGE amounts of debt while keeping an affordable monthly payment. Interest only loans, Ajustable rate loans, fourty year mortgages--all of them designed to put insanely high amounts of debt within the financial grasp of everyone!

If this were a company store in the 1800's shackling us with this much debt, we'd recognize we were just becoming glorified slaves and we'd revolt. But no--the banks aren't forcing us to do anything we're not willing to do, and hey--the prices are already up, so what can you do, right?

You can say no more. Say you won't do it. Laugh at your friends who do. Try to bring sanity back into the world.

Mortgages are a rip off! It's a way for the bank to rent to you, while you still have to pay property taxes and repairs.

Start small, with something well within your means. Pay it off and save. Upgrade as you can.

"But my friends are living in a big house," you say, "While I live in this. How am I better off than them?"

Look--a person who finances a house for 30 years at six percent interest, will pay more money in interest then he paid for the house. If the finances a $500,000 home, he will end up paying over a million dollars for it.

So he can brag to you about how he made a certain amount in equity in so many years--whatever. You're the one who's going to have an extra $500,000 in your pocket because you weren't making the interest payments--the same amount that he's got in equity in his house.

The only way to purchase a house that makes sense, financially, is to get a house you can afford, and to pay it off as fast as you can.

Period.

Turning Away

Well, I have some bad news.

I'm not that excited about it, anyway.

As I enter into the last half of the year, there has been a dramatic change in my schedule that is going to require an extra several hours a day of my time.

Unfortunately, this means that if I want to keep exercising and writing fiction, something has got to go from my life. We both know this thing can't be my family--my wife and kids are the reason I do everything else, so I can't cut back there.

So unfortunately, one of the things that has to go is this blog.

I think this has been coming for a while, but I've been reluctant to do it. The blog has created an accountability that was unmatched. The months I did the best in posting on it daily were the same months I lost the most weight and paid off the most debt.

Unfortunately, even as I try to return to those with laser-like intensity, that takes focus of everything else, including this blog.

Does that mean I'm going to stop posting altogether?

No. I will still consider this blog active. I will still post on it, possibly as much as weekly, and definitely at least once a month. However, I won't even be attempting to update it daily, so you don't need to check back that often any more.

But please do check back! I appreciate all of your support. I'm grateful you're all here, and I wish you all continued success in your own efforts.

My Real Age

So, apparently, even though I'm 30.1, I'm really 32.3.

But if I do the right stuff, I could be 20 again in 90 days.

So what constitutes the "right stuff?" Check out this list of 12 of the biggest factors in your "real age."

Go ahead and take the test--it's not nearly as long as I had thought previously, and you can skip most of the questions you probably don't know.

In my case, it encouraged me to get a better "social support" network, to quit talking on my cell phone while I drive, to take a multi-vitamin, and to floss more.

And, of course, to lose some weight.

The Real Age Test

I heard about this site on the radio today, and thought it sounded pretty intriguing.

I haven't taken the test yet, myself (it apparently takes about half an hour), but I liked the way the guy was talking on the radio today.

One of my favorite points he made is that really being healthy isn't about being a "super" athlete or anything extreme like that. He quoted Governor Arnold as once having said something to the effect of, "There isn't an athlete I know who hasn't destroyed their body for their sport."

If anybody does try it before I do, let me know what you think.

Fame!

I don't think I've liked back to The bearable lightness of being yet, which bothers me. I'm sorry!

I usually try to post a link to anybody who links to me, but you know how it goes.

What I really need to do is put a links list in the sidebar. Maybe that'll be a project for this weekend . . .

Ground Turkey

It's not the super-lean stuff they encourage you to buy in the fitness magazines, but it is leaner than ground beef, and the way my wife's been getting it, it's been cheaper than ground beef.

Yup. We're talkin' turkey.

It's been an experiment. Neither of us have much experience with the stuff, and I was a little surprised to see that it thawed to more of a soupy texture than the consistency we normally associate with ground beef.

Undaunted, we started thickening it up. Rather than using breadcrumbs, like you'd do for meatballs, we used oatmeal. Higher fiber, complex carbs. Also, I still have a can of Neston I got at an international food shop a while back. Neston is a flakey, whole wheat cereal Nestle sells in Brazil that makes a good additive for shakes. It's got vitamins and minerals and thickens the same as the oatmeal or breadcrumbs would.

We've also learned that it's dreadfully bland by itself. We've added all manner of seasonings, from barbecue sauce to Grillmates to vinegar. We've made burgers, meat sauces and meatballs with it, and while some experiments have been more successful than others, we're getting closer to figuring it out. The spaghetti Marci made tonight turned out really well.

So I recommend it to those frugal adventurers who are willing to put the extra bit of work in the extra few cents will save you, but do be warned that what you're going to get will not be something you can just form into a patty and put on the grill. The addition of the oatmeal or bran or whatever-your-flavor will do the trick, though, and makes the final product even better for you.

Another Pic: Because everybody wants to see how big Mia is getting, here's a shot of the two of them playing with Nikki at my folks' house. I believe this was taken on my birthday . . .

Fat Man Walking

Okay, a quick word about this guy.

I first heard him on the radio about a month ago. The makers of the insoles who are sponsoring him were having him do radio interviews to sponsor them.

Personally, I thought it was a terrible idea. And not just because he's going to walk right through New Mexico, a state which has driven even some who've attempted to drive through it insane.

And not just because, even though the six months is already half up, he's not even 1/6th of the way.

The fact is that, for all his talk of "No quick fixes for me!" on the website, this is still a quick fix. It's a long, slow, torturous quick fix, but it's a quick fix just the same.

A quick fix is a one-time "stunt" that is meant to make everything all better, but that is so far removed from your natural reality as to be ineffective in the long term. In this case, once he gets back home he's still going to have to go through the process of finding an exercise program, figuring out a healthy diet, and completely changing his life for the purpose of maintaining any weight he lost, or losing any weight he doesn't lose in these six months (or more).

And he'd have to spent six months (or more) of his life away from at least part of his family. Granted, this is the part of his story I know the least about, but that could easily be throwing the baby out with the bathwater. Is it worth it to try to change your life, if your family goes to pot in your absence?

But now that I've seen the site, I see his kids are pretty young, and are kind of tagging along in the support van with Mom. Which turns this whole thing into a big six month long family vacation, which I've got no problem with at all. I wish this guy a ton of luck.

Of course, he really is still going to have to get down to the real business of changing his life, eating habits, and exercise patterns once he gets home. The temptation will be to say, "Alright, now a week off." The week will become a month, then a year, and then he'll be back where he started from. And pretty soon his kids will start saying to him, "Daddy, when are you going to walk across the country again," and he'll realize he's back where he started from.

But that doesn't have to be! And I must say, this is a heck of a way to kick off a turnaround.

Friday Mythbustin': A Magic Pill

Myth: If I just refinance my house/consolidate my debt/get liposuction/get my stomach stapled, my problems will be solved.

Truth: By treating only the symptom of the problem rather than the cause, you're just postponing the moment you have to deal with the problem, and possibly making them worse.

How did I get here?

In trying to find one's way out of a mess, this question is often the first one you need to answer. You need it answered before you even begin to answer the question that seems more pressing--How do I get out?

Because without answering the "How did I get here?" question, even if there were a "magic pill" that could whisk you away to Someplace Better, you would likely begin to wander much as you had before, and end up back in the same spot!

The real power would come not from your relocation, but from your power to prevent your return.

However, the so-called cures are rarely as magical as in our examples.

Home refinances are often more expensive than simply paying off debt. Thirty years of low interest can add up to more than five years of high interest. And if you opt for an interest-only loan, then your debt doesn't go down at all. You pay extra interest for the ability to lock your debt up somewhere, only so it can pop out and terrorize you later.

Stomach stapling is an incredible health trade-off. Often people who have had the operation end up thinner, but with reduced immune systems and other symptoms of malnutrition. Some even manage to re-grow their stomachs and gain back lost weight in spite of the surgery.

It's like if someone who's beginning to have trouble walking rushing out and purchasing a motorized cart. While the cart may seem easier, the fact that it's keeping them from walking can actually accelerate the problem. The answer may be that they need to walk more, not less, and they really ought to consult a physician.

All of these things are treating symptoms, rather than the problem. It's the equivalent of shoving two cotton balls up your nose because your nose is running. It plugs up the leak, but doesn't actually address the fact that you've got germs inside you doing bad stuff.

If you are having problems with your finances or with your weight, there is an underlying cause or two. Some examples:

1. Lack of Information. You simply do not know another way, or are ignorant of the effects of certain things. This one can be obvious--if somebody says 403b, for example, you either know what they're talking about or you don't.

Sometimes, though, the knowledge void isn't obvious, and you have to look a little harder to find it.

2. Incorrect or incomplete information. Someone might have told you, for example, that it's good to carry around some debt at all times in order to boost your credit score, or some other such silly nonsense.

The problem with this one, as opposed to the previous one, is this one is less obvious. There isn't an obvious gap in your knowledge--you think you know the answer!

Because of this, it is impossible to self-diagnose. You have no way of knowing, by yourself, which of your beliefs are true or false or a combination thereof. The only way to address this issue is to be constantly testing for it, by being in a constant state of learning, though whatever medium appeals to you.

3. Assumptions. I think this one is particularly true about weight problems. People think they're overweight because they're big boned, or they have a metabolism problem, or a thyroid problem. Or, they think their weight can't possibly be because of metabolism or a thyroid problem (It's never the big-boned thing. That's just bunk).

The problem with the assumptions is they exist independent of actual reality. And until the assumptions, either through research or professional diagnosis, are corrected, you are incapable of solving the problem.

4. Emotional issues. We are emotional creatures. We don't act logically all the time--Mr. Spock seemed weird to us for a reason. Getting our emotions regarding these things straightened out can be an even bigger hindrance than any of the previous three problems.

So it's in one of these four areas that things have gone wrong, and whichever one it is will keep steering you wrong no matter how many quick-fix patch-up jobs you attempt.

Quote Of The Week:

The life that conquers is the life that moves with a steady resolution and persistence toward a predetermined goal. Those who succeed are those who have thoroughly learned the immense importance of plan in life, and the tragic brevity of time.

- W.J. Davison

Super-Fast Updates

This, ironically, is both my slowest and fastest update ever.

As in, it's the longest I've gone between posts, but my first post using my super-fast, super-hype DSL connection.

Wow. It's a little bit faster.

I haven't hooked up my wireless router yet (Thank you, Becky!) but I will soon.

Our house is actually kind of turned upside down right now. My wife borrowed a carpet cleaner thing today, so most of my apartment is in my kitchen and my bedroom, so even the set-up I've got for the DSL right now was just temporary to make sure it was working.

But whoo-doggies, is this thing faster. I am feeling so spoiled right now.

Bring on your big files! Bring on your huge flash-powered websites! Bring on the large version of the film trailers!

I am the king of cyberspace!

Emma's Glasses

Thanks to my brother Ryan for sending in this pic.

Emma's Eyes

I know there are comments I haven't replied to, and I'll get to them I swear--it's just been a long day and I have to get up early tomorrow for work.

But I do want to let everybody know that the optometrist has officially declared that, while wearing glasses, Emma's eyes are completely straight. She won't even need to use a patch.

This could change six months from now, but for right now, her eyes are responding remarkably well to corrective lenses, and she won't need any other treatment.

She deserves to catch a break once in a while.

(And I do promise to post a pic. Pics have, in fact, been taken--like a dunce, I just forgot to email them to myself. I'll get 'em up! I swear!)

A Big Thank-You

To everyone who participated in my birthday. Thanks to everyone who sent cards and/or presents and/or emails. You all are awesome.

On a fitness note, I got a pair of dumbells, which means I now have no excuse for not lifting weights more frequently.

Since my birthday was supposed to be sort of a milestone in the year, excpect a sort of "year in review"-type post this week.

Friday Mythbustin': Don't Eat Before Bedtime

Myth: If you don't eat before bedtime, your body won't store up the calories and you won't gain weight.

Fact: If you eat more calories than you burn, it doesn't matter when you eat them.

I guess it kind of makes sense. If you eat only when you're doing stuff, you'll burn more of the calories, right? When you're sleeping, all you're doing is just . . . sleeping.

Yeah. But to be honest with you, when you're sleeping, you're not burning that many fewer calories than when you're sitting watching TV (Fitday.com gives you no calorie credit for doing either one). Unless you're actually up and moving, eating before you sit down for that Seinfeld marathon is exactly the same as eating before you sleep.

Researchers at the University of Massachusetts showed that going to bed hungry (Going 3 hours without eating before bedtime) increased a person's risk of obesity by over 100%! The only things worse were eating breakfast out of the house (137%) and not eating breakfast at all (A whopping 450%!).

Now some people swear by this weight-loss trick, and have had terrific luck with it. I think there's a reason for this:

A lot of people only have access to food once they get home from work. They come home, eat dinner, and then snack until bed time. By eliminating all the pre-bedtime snacks, they significantly cut their calorie intake. As long as they don't eat the food at other times (which they don't, because they're not in the house at other times), they're going to experience weight loss.

What I want to do is reassure them that if they give in and have something, they don't need to beat themselves up over it. In fact, it's probably a good idea.

Obviously, this isn't permission to eat the whole pint of Chubby Dumpy Ice Cream, but it does say that eating is just as important a tool in weight loss as the not eating is.

So grab that apple, or have a little meal replacement shake. High protein meals before bed help the muscle grow while you're sleeping.

Just be reasonable about it.

Alice's Adventures In Turnaround

In Lewis Carroll's book, Through The Looking Glass, there's a scene that's always stuck in my brain. It's not in any of the adaptations I've seen, but the scene rings true for me, and the scene is incredibly resonant.

In the book, Alice meets the Red Queen, who is not a playing card, but rather, a chess piece. After some amusing exchanges, this happens:

Just at this moment, somehow or other, they began to run.

Alice never could quite make out, in thinking it over afterwards, how it was that they began: all she remembers is, that they were running hand in hand, and the Queen went so fast that it was all she could do to keep up with her: and still the Queen kept crying "Faster!" but Alice felt she could not go faster, though she had no breath to say so.

The most curious part of the thing was, that the trees and the other things round them never changed their places at all: however fast they went, they never seemed to pass anything. "I wonder if all the things move along with us?" thought poor puzzled Alice. And the Queen seemed to guess her thoughts, for she cried, "Faster! Don't try to talk!"

Not that Alice had any idea of doing that. She felt as if she would never be able to talk again, she was getting so out of breath: and still the Queen cried, "Faster! Faster!" and dragged her along. "Are we nearly there?" Alice managed to pant out at last.

"Nearly there!" the Queen repeated. "Why, we passed it ten minutes ago! Faster!" And they ran on for a time in silence, with the wind whistling in Alice's ears, and almost blowing her hair off her head, she fancied.

"Now! Now!" cried the Queen. "Faster! Faster!" And they went so fast that at last they seemed to skim through the air, hardly touching the ground with their feet, till suddenly, just as Alice was getting quite exhausted, they stopped, and she found herself sitting on the ground, breathless and giddy. The Queen propped her against a tree, and said kindly, "You may rest a little now."

Alice looked round her in great surprise. "Why, I do believe we've been under this tree all the time! Everything's just as it was!"

"Of course it is," said the Queen: "what would you have it?"

"Well, in our country," said Alice, still panting a little, "you'd generally get to somewhere else -- if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing."

"A slow sort of country!" said the Queen. "Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!"

Not to correct poor Alice, but I think there are plenty of times in this country where things seem to work exactly as they do on the Red Queen's chessboard. We run and work and labor and try just to have things stay the same, at it seems like the effort to make something actually change is Herculean.